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Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend to give up smoking?

My boyfriend smokes and I hate it. He doesn’t do it infront of me but it really bothers me. When we first met I didn’t know that he smoked and said I could never be with a smoker. He told me he didn’t smoke, and managed to hide the fact for over 2 years! Anyway a few months ago he revealed that he has been smoking behind my back all this time. He said he wants to quit and will go to see a doctor about it but he just keeps prolonging it… The only reason he wants to give up is for me. Am I being selfish making him give it up??

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16 Responses to “Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend to give up smoking?”

  1. Mentalpausewoman said:

    It’s because you love him, but honestly, only he can give them up on his own. good luck.

  2. Ratto said:

    If he hides that from you for 2 years, he’ll hide his girlfriends from you if you get married.

    What surprises me, is that he smokes and you cannot smell it on his clothes or hair. HMMMM.

  3. RebelAir said:

    No. But don’t be surprised if he doesn’t change.
    It took me 34 years to quit.

  4. Emily Schneider said:

    No because u could inhale second hand smoke and tht could be really bad 4 u!

  5. Reader and like to dye hair blue said:

    no. smoking can kill you and is the cause of at least two of the top 10 leading causes of death.

    I read that people (mostly old men) that goes on fire and burn and after wards, all there is left is their clothes. the one thing in commen of ALL the people is they SMOKED ONCE BEFORE OR NOW!!!

    don’t let your BF smoke or he can die.

  6. Evolution X said:

    No its not wrong.. Jus your love for him…
    But he cant stop smoking unless he has the will to do so…

  7. mario said:

    yeah, you are being a bit selfish….(sorry)…but if he isn’t doing it around you, it’s his lungs, right?..i have a girl friend who is in a similar situation with her boyfriend…he smokes, she doesn’t and i do…so she will get my opinion on her asking him to quit and i tell her faithfully, to leave this man alone…he doesn’t smoke around her or her daughter so what else does she want?

  8. Grinchmess Time said:

    Cigarettes? Weed? Elaborate a bit here, please so we can give a thorough answer?
    If it’s cigarettes, I’d say yeah he should definitley let it go ~.- too many health-problems with those sicky-sticks.
    Your breath actually comes out yellow on a napkin if you breathe into it after smoking, did you know that? fncking yuk.
    If it’s marijuana on the other hand. Rent the movie The Union – it’s honest and extremely informative.
    (Cannibus has no negative effects on your healthy, by the way.)
    However, no matter what he is smoking. If it really truly does bother you, tell him.
    Hope I helped. =)

  9. giftfromgod said:

    Well, he’s no good to you dead, is he?

  10. Gamer_Genius said:

    No, you’re not being selfish.

    Personally, I hate smoking as much as I hate seeing someone else smoking it. And of course, no one needs to imply the consequences of it, so I want to skip that..

    You should make him quit as it is his own fault too, of not telling it to you before. If it’d have been me, it’d have felt like a minor shock atleast.

    But, you have to sympathize with his condition as well, because I’ve really known quite many smokers, who wanted to quit so desperately, but in the end, they came back to smoking, even if he/she never wanted to do it again. It is an addiction that is very difficult to cure, so you have to be patient with him.

    But nonetheless, being patient doesn’t mean that you have to be ignorant. Try to make him give up if it is possible.. But you have to be careful. You shouldn’t endanger your relationship on this.

  11. 8WeBs said:

    Honestly it’s not a debate, you need to empower him to do it it himself
    and be the women who stands with him when he trys.
    You are absolutely right in doing that.

    I smoked for 15 years and regret every single one of them.

  12. Orla C said:

    Not at all. End the relationship. If he can’t give up the fags for you, and even lies about it, what else has he lied to you about?

  13. Don Y said:

    I don’t understand a couple of things:
    (1) How could you not know for two years that he was smoking? Do you have a problem with smelling?
    (2) He’s known all along how you feel about smoking and smokers, but led you on anyway, so why do you think that he’d really stop for you now?

    If this is as important an issue for you as you indicate (and I completely agree with you!), I suggest that you put this relationship on hold; see if he really does stop smoking — and STAYS stopped — then consider easing back into it.

    No, you are not being selfish. But it is his right to smoke, and it has to be his choice to give up smoking for whatever reason. Don’t ask him to. Two years ago you told him that you could not be with a smoker, and he is a smoker, so act accordingly.

  14. za said:

    No. But don’t expect a miracle.

  15. ihaveasexyhusband said:

    But the thing is you’re not making him give up. He’s been smoking behind your back for over 2 years and you were none the wiser but he confessed and now he keeps saying that he wants to give up.

    I bet it’s hard but he just needs to keep trying. I personally don’t think that he’s ready to give up and when he accepts that – it will be easier for him to do it when he’s ready.


  16. tim said:

    i think ur totally unfair to ask him to give up. u say u didnt notice for 2 years so it is not having any impact or effect on you. Its his body / his life. Sure drop him as a boyfriend if u wish, but dont try to control him.

    Also remember he hid his smoking for 2 years so as not to displease u.


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