Trying to make my dad give up smoking…?
He has patches and stuff in the house but its hard to get him focused, he always claims ‘it fell off’ and smokes.
its hard to try and keep him off them, please help
hes had heart attacks so he needs too.
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April 3rd, 2011 at 1:40 pm
as concerned as you are, until your dad is ready to quit, there is basically nothing you can do to make him stop. IF he has already suffered heart attacks and has not quit, then I suggest you make sure he has a will in place because he will not likely live very long.
April 3rd, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Son,
I realize that this is very hard and scary for you to deal with… but you need to learn a (possibly) horrible lesson now at your tender age.
there is NOTHING you can do to control another person. if your father wants to commit suicide (and tell him that that is what he is doing – robbing YOU of your father) then that is up to him, but that you will take no part in it.
then it is up to you to learn to take care of yourself.
i suggest going to some alanon meetings (and act as though your father is an alcoholic) read the literature and learn how the program works.
then: pay attention to what you are eating, daily exercise and learn relaxation techniques to practice twice daily 20 minutes each time.
I PROMISE if you listen to me, you will thank you (you dont ever have to) when you are an old man/woman!!!
cw
April 3rd, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Im sorry, but the only perosn that can make your dad stop smoking is himself.. and maybe his surgen if he has another heart attack… all you can do is tell him why you want him to quit.. tell him your worried about about, and want him to be around.. then the rest is up to him..
April 3rd, 2011 at 3:49 pm
You can not make him do anything he does not want to do. I know his smoking scares you but you need to help yourself. Please don’t beat yourself for his smoking. I am sorry and I know you are hurt. Let him be. If he wants to really quit he will. If not he just might die from it. The truth is hard to swallow, but when we face it we can get some relief.
April 3rd, 2011 at 4:44 pm
David:
Your father is the only one that can stop himself from smoking. You can’t.
You could take him to one of those cancer centers and let him see first hand what these cancer patients look like. That might scare the HELL out of him.
But even that might not be enough. Good luck.
April 3rd, 2011 at 5:17 pm
simply tell your dad that his smoking makes u really upset and that he should stop becausae u really wan’t him to live a long, happy, healthy life with u.
April 3rd, 2011 at 5:25 pm
This is a hard habit to break and someone who don’t have it just can’t understand why with health issues they don’t stop.
Been there, there is serval other meds, Wellbutin is what I used and it did a slow quitting process. He knows he should stop but love him and care, cutting back is easier than cold turkey. Have him check with his Dr for meds that will help him, some new ones out there. Good luck and God Bless
April 3rd, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I don’t know how old you are, but when I was little around seven, my Dad smoked. He said one day my brother, who was 12 at the time, walked up to him, and said Daddy we don’t want you to die, please quit smoking. He never lit up again. I am not saying this will work with your Dad, because he has to want to quit too. But maybe if you will just talk to him about your feelings, tell him you want him around and you don’t want him to suffer when he is older from the years of smoking. Tell him the second hand smoke is not good for you and the rest of the family. Then maybe try to start family walks after dinner, maybe getting out of the house and being active will help him. Please know you can’t make him quit, but you can educate yourself and him about the risk of smoking and of second hand smoke.
My husband smokes and I have been trying to get him to quit, even after watching his Dad suffer with COPD and emphysema, he still smokes.
Keep trying and praying. May God Bless you and your family.
April 3rd, 2011 at 6:49 pm
In order to stop your dad has to want to–and you can’t make him. Nobody can. There is a new pill out that everybody raves about called “Chantix.” I understand the success rate is fairly high with it. You must have a doctor’s prescription to get it.
I smoked 4-5 packs a day for 17 years and was only able to quit when I WANTED to. Back then all we had was that nasty tasting gum–and I’d rather have kept on smoking than chew that stuff!!! So between Chantix and a patch you father should have lots of help.
Good luck to him.
April 3rd, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Perhaps you might have to be cruel to be kind. Sometimes it works.
Perhaps you could could ask him if he wants to be cremated or buried after his next heart attack or his first stroke if he fails to survive.
You could also ask him if he has any preferred nursing homes if he becomes helpless after his next heart attack or first stroke.
Such a brutal approach sometimes helps people to realise the folly of their smoking lifestyle. Some smokers end up getting one or even both legs amputated due to circulation problems.
One doctor once told one of his patients with severe lung problems who needed an oxygen tank for a long time every 6 hours “It is not for me to tell you quit smoking but if you don’t you wil not be seeing me next year (because you will be dead)”. This brutal approach worked and the bloke quit smoking and lasted several more years instead of 6 months or 1 year.